Jan. 31, 2005
Hi Bob:
We are making progress on the paperwork for our wedding but it seems like two steps forward and one back. We hope we are married on Feb. 21 as planned; regardless, the party goes ahead anyway. My suit was a bit loose, but the tailor fixed that.
We went to Saigon last week with one of the objectives being to have photos taken. Wedding pictures are a big part of the Vietnamese wedding and Dung's sister has a nephew who has a well-regarded studio. We were scheduled at the studio Sunday morning. Unfortunately, I awoke with my eyes spinning like pin balls and nausea that would fell an ox. I thought it was a recurrence of my hypertension and had Dung take me to the hospital. After two days I was little better but still dizzy so I had her take me to a Western clinic
where they determined I had an inner ear problem and they got me sorted out in a couple of hours.
I went back to Dung's niece's house to recuperate before returning to Nha Trang. They have a beautiful home not too far from the restaurant. Later in the day I went to look for my passport and Dung said that the chauffer, Khanh, had to give it to the police so they
could check to see who was staying at Uyen's .
We flew back to Cam Ranh and bused up to Nha Trang, glad to be home. I don't know if it is the tsunami or just the time of year but tourism is booming again.
We have more teacher's helpers in class than children but the kids love it. Got back to find that our Canadian friends, Jennifer and Philip and the children,
are back from their holiday in Thailand and plan to stay six months. We are trying to help them locate a small house to rent. We also decided that things have been going south with the quality of instruction that goes on in Kim's so we're having a small group together for dinner at our house to discuss what we can do to make improvements without alienating Kimmy.
Shortly before we left for Saigon, I was approached by one of my students to ask if I would stand in for the father of her friend's fiancé. (an American!) He was
coming for their engagement party but his parents couldn't afford to come now and for in May for the wedding. I said I'd be glad to stand in so they came by to introduce my new "son" and talk about arrangements. The party is the 18th.
Then I got a call from one of the Danish girls involved in the film about the little postcard boy. She is back in town and had copies of the film for us. It is absolutely marvelous. Unfortunately they didn't have sufficient time to get all the shots they needed and the editing resulted in somewhat less than the potential. Tu, the boy, is a doll. The story is great and they could win prizes if they could get a chance to shoot some more and re-edit it. She, Henriette, is coming for our strategizing dinner.
We'll show them the film.
Dinner was a great success. Dung is a truly amazing cook when she does traditional Vietnamese fare and
everyone had a marvelous time. Our schoolgirls who come every morning to help out all came to lend a hand with the dinner then took off after Dung gave them their own dinner on the floor of the kitchen (which is their preference).
***
Brief news flash! What a surprise for me to hear from Barb Raeburn about Florence Flaugher Ayers’ great luck (She won the huge Powerball lottery prize). Florence was probably my first real girl friend. I took her picture with me to Navy boot camp and I think we corresponded awhile. Way to go Florence!
***
Went to another wedding this evening. The nephew of Dung's late husband. His family, like Dung's, was wealthy old Nha Trang family before the revolution, with villas and farms like Dung's. There were 11 siblings in his family and 10 in Dung's. I don't think there are more than two children in any of the families of both sets of siblings. From families of 10 and 11 to two in one generation seems truly
dramatic. An interesting feature of weddings here is that as large and elaborate as they are and as important a social institution, they don't last long.
Everyone gets there late, the traditional parade of the bride and groom marches in, we eat while professionals and family members serenade the place and you get up and go home. An hour and 30 minutes tops and the place is empty. And no dancing! And Dung informs me that will be true at our wedding as well. "We don't dance at Vietnamese weddings!" So
there!
***
Today was one of those serendipitously marvelous days that just happen. At church this morning, Dung's women's choir sang a hymn to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean" which was good for a chuckle, especially after "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" at
Christmas. Then a young man from the congregation sang the most beautiful solo. He was movie-star good-looking and his voice just soared and floated. I
thought "A sure winner in a U.S. talent show!"; but, how to get him there?
Then Dung's sister, Huyen, asked if we wanted to go to the mud baths and hot springs with them. Another sister, Oahn, is in town and we had arranged for the
little daughter of our Canadian friends to play with our niece, Le, so we loaded two vans and all went to the springs. Then we went up the coast to a seafood
restaurant that is all by itself on stilts out over the surf. As dusk settled in, the fishing boats began to turn on the fluorescent lights they use to attract
fish and shrimp and the waters were lit in a lovely manner while we feasted on prawns the size of lobsters, crab, fried squid and rice-seafood soup.
Quinn had told me that they were going to have live music at Guava on Sunday night. A Canadian singer/guitarist name Swackhammer was going to play from 8 to 10 so I arranged for Dung to meet me there after her stint at church and we had a lovely evening, visiting with a dozen or so friends that were in and
out. The place was pretty well packed and the noise level was a bit high but it was a nice way to wrap up a great day.
The next day we went to the government office handling the approval process for our wedding and suffered a setback because they want official stamps on
everything. Also, they can't seem to grasp that Americans move around a lot so if you have two different addresses for different points in your life,
it throws them so I have to use one address for everything. Later in the day Dung and four of the sisters and I went out to their mother's tomb in
recognition of the anniversary of her death. Even though three of the girls are Christian, they still honor the ancestor recognition. Afterward, we stopped to see a cousin who is a monk who watches over a small pagoda (temple) in the country near the tomb. The pagoda was a gem. Very old and small but the
construction was beautiful. The cousin looked to be about one hundred. Imagine my surprise when they told me he was seventy. They had a lot of humor at my
expense for the rest of the ride but since they only interpret what they want to I didn't suffer too much.
***
We did our turn as the family of the pending groom at the engagement this morning. We assembled at a restaurant where we were to have lunch and collected the traditional gifts. They include liquor, fruit, rice, jewelry, money and a few other items. The groom's representatives accompany him and the gifts to the bride's home where Dung delivered my speech since it had to be in Vietnamese. The young lady was stunning as were all the girls. The males (Vietnamese) are rarely ever good looking. It is a mystery to me how this gene pool turns out beautiful girls and homely boys on a regular basis. After the exchange, we return to the restaurant for the engagement lunch. The weather was wonderful and
everything went swimmingly.
***
Two sisters, friends of Dung's, are visiting from Canada and we decided to take a couple of day trips. We hired the usual vehicle for large groups, a 15-person Mercedes van, built in Vietnam. We invited a Danish woman that we met through the school at Crazy Kim's to join us and we went out to visit Dung's
father's tomb, then drove up the coast where we had a sea food lunch on the beach where vendors prepare various shell fish items right from the sea. Later, we stopped at a little restaurant known for a kind of pancake, sort of a crepe, filled with vegetables. Very tasty. The next day we went out to Yang Bay Falls and spent the afternoon enjoying the beautiful scenery and visiting. One of the Canadian sisters was recounting
stories of Dung and her sisters and their bravery after their family homes were confiscated and Dung was put in jail for trying to leave Vietnam. A very moving account.
Over the same period we attended two more weddings. This is the season of weddings and we are continuing
to pray that ours will be one of them.
***
Somehow the number of young people with whom I am holding English conversation sessions continues to
grow. As long as they can understand me, I can help them with pronunciation, their biggest problem, and vocabulary building. Fortunately, there is usually at
least one who understands well enough to help the rest in Vietnamese. They are all determined to help me learn their language but it is slow going. If English
required the exactness of pronunciation that Vietnamese does, few would learn it. All kinds of mispronunciations are made by people speaking English as a second language but we are able to understand
them if we can get the context. Then we have to deal with meanings. When the word for "merchandise" and the word for "no" are combined, it means "airplane". It is daunting.
***
Well, we got down to Saigon and had our wedding pictures taken. Dung went to the studio two hours before me to be made up and have her hair arranged.
She looked absolutely stunning. This is the first time I have ever had studio photography done and it was great fun to be posed and arranged and then see
the digital shot and maybe do it over. We will have a printed book of pictures and then the obligatory large glossy that stands on an easel in front of the dining
room at your wedding dinner.
We got together with a childhood friend of Dung's who is visiting from the U.S. and went to a new spot to eat. It is called Texas Bar B Que and is run by an
American. The food was authentic and quite good. as well as very inexpensive. After we walked around the shops of Saigon and ended up at a restaurant called Paloma, where we listened to music that included a woman violinist/singer who was very talented, singing in at least four languages. When we got back to Nha Trang, it was time for another dinner, this for the engagement of the daughter of Dung's pastor. We also
returned to news from the official who is handling the papers for our marriage, that he will have them approved before Tet, which is Feb. 9. Needless to say, we are delighted.
Speaking of Tet, while we were in Saigon, Dung shopped for clothes for the 15 children who are regular
attenders at Crazy Kim's school as Tet gifts. Having some new clothing is an important part of Tet. JeanMcIlwraith Tebay sent me $100 to spend on things forthe kids and this worked out well. More about this next month.
Finally, tomorrow we have an interview for our government marriage approval (after a bribe of $400) and the plans for our wedding are on target. We agreed on the dinner to be held at my friend's new hotel, the Sunrise, and ordered our announcements and
invitations. We moved the date up one day to Feb. 20, a Sunday, to accommodate our working friends and relatives so we're keeping our fingers crossed that we've leaped the last hurtle. When I write next month I will (hopefully) have a new wife and have started building our new house.
Till then, Happy Lunar New Year, the year of the Rooster.
Dick
